No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
