It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
