'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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