it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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