Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
