I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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