Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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