Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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