she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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