remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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