I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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