Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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