hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
