At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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