i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
