remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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