I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
