just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize