Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize