Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
