office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
