Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm at about main and main street
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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