if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize