she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
