Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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