end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I CAN MOONWALK!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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