I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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