Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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