The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
