Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
