why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
