you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
