dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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