did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
