It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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