roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
