it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
