Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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