I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am naked and annoyed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
