When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
