I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My ass is underappreciated
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
