ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
