My nipple is on Facebook.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
