If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
