Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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