Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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