I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
