sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
