I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
