When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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