id be glad to
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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