Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
