do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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