I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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