I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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