Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I forget how to act sober
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
