guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
