Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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