i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
