i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
