I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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