I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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