? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
