Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
