Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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