Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We were destined to go to rehab together
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
