Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
