Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
